11:10 am 17/02/2009
For many years and for many of us we tend to look at someone outside of ourselves may be to follow or to try and please.
For me, over the years, too many times I have looked for someone else to walk in their shadow, to experience some of their success. I’ve always seen myself - and it has often been to my demise - as a supporter and never considered being my own leader.
In my experience, in life we always look for someone to be our lighting guide. We look for someone to motivate us. We look for someone who would or by whom we would define our purpose in life, our existence. We look for people and events that might trigger something in our lives to make our lives more meaningful and more compelling and hope to be more rewarding. As young kids we look at our parents, as adults we look for political leaders for the salvation of our nation, we look at our religious or spiritual leaders for personal salvation. We look outside of ourselves, we look through our window of life for our heroes but all we find is their shadow, a silhouette of who they really are….
Once we found a shadow, we walk besides it hoping for the shadow to lift us up and deliver our destiny and our dreams for us. We wait in the background with hope and admiration wishing that someday, one of these days, the shadow will pay much needed attention, to lift us to their higher level, to a higher order in life. We see them and look at them as giants and heroes with super human powers, yet when we get closer we see their reality being as big and magnificent as we are ourselves. We look hard into their eyes to see at what level they really are... to our surprise notice them to be at the same level as where we are. We ascend to their level? They descend to ours? it doesn't really matter. We’ve always been at their level but were walking in their shadow.
In business, we often look for those people, we try to find those that we can walk in their shadow. We look for their leadership skills aiming at walking in their shadow. We seek their approval, we develop the skills they need us to develop in order to serve their need and make their shadow overshadowing on us. We look smaller in their shadow and we dwindle away with time. We are supportive of their leadership! "After all aren’t we?" We reason that by growing their shadow we are bound to be noticed by them, not realizing that as their shadow grows, we are shrinking in size from their perspective, as they overshadow us.
So, next time my friends and before you decide to walk in someone else's shadow, why not stop for a moment and look around, you might surprise yourself with what you might see. You might see someone else trying to walk in your shadow. He could be your son, or she could be your daughter, they could be your friend or even your boss, and perhaps your neighbor. Just open your eyes and look around, you might see that your shadow has dwarfed many other shadows even those that you thought you have been walking in their shadow. You might also notice, if you opened your eyes real wide and looked with your mind, that those that you have been walking in their shadow have also been walking in your shadow.
Ask yourself this question, “why not create my own shadow?” so that those that need shelter can find a comforting shadow to walk under.
You are capable of casting a shadow as vast as the universe and you can enrich the lives of people all around you, and beyond. Walk in your own shadow and let your shadow cast a light of hope for all those souls that need to be enlightened.
Joseph Warda
Active Business Coach
Coach, Train, Facilitate, and Grow!
joseph.warda@activebusinesscoach.com
Active Business Coach
+61-4-1428 3098
Tuesday 17 February 2009
Friday 13 February 2009
Crying for help
12/02/2009 08:50 am
As humans we often express our pains and sorrows in many different forms and ways. Happiness and Love are universally recognisable emotions that we all often express them in a uniform way which is understood by every human being.
If we look around and increase our awareness around the people that we know you’ll find that some people express their emotions in different ways than others. Some find solace in solitude, others in anger… no matter what the outward expression is; it is a loud Cry for Help.
The way we express our Cry for Help varies depending on our life experiences, our beliefs and values, and how we find comfort.
Some people’s Cry for Help is so quiet that it is deafening. Others’ Cry for Help is so loud that no one can hear it. All of these extremes and anything in between them are just forms of expressing our Cry for Help for anyone who is willing to listen and pay attention to them.
We see kids and adults going into isolation every time they feel helpless and fearful. We label them as Depressed and Antisocial. What a nice way to label someone. I was one of those kids. I felt that the world didn’t understand me. My world was made up of those that surrounded me at the time. That was my map of the world and I felt that I was confined to that map. Now I understand that the map of my world is boundary-less and the understanding is to.
Other people may go into a killing rampage, we confine those into the box of criminals or mentally ill. So instead of listening to their Cry for Help, what we do, we isolate them and we put them in institutions obviously with the best intentions. As the law of attraction goes like attracts like and more and more of these people are confined together. Instead of finding a way for them to understand that their map of their world is boundary-less we tell them that they are like the others and we confirm their thoughts, by confining them with others that are like them. So all they end up seeing is people like them which reaffirm their beliefs.
Other people find illness or drugs to comfort themselves with. They express their Cry for Help by getting ill or taking drugs or falling victim to an addiction. We shove them in hospitals and give them treatment for doing that.
Some others even try to express their Cry for Help with laughter or some form of entertainment or public post. We look at them and we say “what great artists they are!” Yet if we bother to look deep into their entertainment we see that they are calling for help. It is their outward expression to show us their Cry for Help. Instead, we build monuments and give them gifts when all they are trying to tell us is “we need you to hear our Cry for Help.”
And, there are many other forms or derivation of these forms of Cry for Help.
Some people then end up in places where they didn’t want to be. Marriages break down, mid life crisis, people go homeless, teenagers get pregnant, some take narcotics, others prescribed drugs, some find illness, and some others find death to be the only “person” to hear their loud noises and listens to their Cry for Help.
Next time you see someone behaving in a manner that you or the whole society doesn’t approve, listen the silence between the words and read the lines that are written with invisible ink. Have a look around your life. If you are married “listen” to your kids’ Cry for Help. That little boy of yours might be rowdy for a reason… it may well be his Cry for Help. May be that daughter of yours who is fearful might be calling you and asking you for your help. Perhaps your wife or your teen daughter overeating is her way of talking to you or to the world. Try looking into the eyes of your co-worker or boss, may be they are so “bossy” because no one is actually hearing their Cry for Help.
Today, ask yourself this question: “Who in my life is Crying for Help?”
Just don’t be surprised if you hear the answer in your own Cry for Help.
Joseph Warda
Active Business Coach
Coach, Train, Facilitate, and Grow!
joseph.warda@activebusinesscoach.com
Active Business Coach
+61-4-1428 3098
This Original Article was first published at
Cry For Help
As humans we often express our pains and sorrows in many different forms and ways. Happiness and Love are universally recognisable emotions that we all often express them in a uniform way which is understood by every human being.
If we look around and increase our awareness around the people that we know you’ll find that some people express their emotions in different ways than others. Some find solace in solitude, others in anger… no matter what the outward expression is; it is a loud Cry for Help.
The way we express our Cry for Help varies depending on our life experiences, our beliefs and values, and how we find comfort.
Some people’s Cry for Help is so quiet that it is deafening. Others’ Cry for Help is so loud that no one can hear it. All of these extremes and anything in between them are just forms of expressing our Cry for Help for anyone who is willing to listen and pay attention to them.
We see kids and adults going into isolation every time they feel helpless and fearful. We label them as Depressed and Antisocial. What a nice way to label someone. I was one of those kids. I felt that the world didn’t understand me. My world was made up of those that surrounded me at the time. That was my map of the world and I felt that I was confined to that map. Now I understand that the map of my world is boundary-less and the understanding is to.
Other people may go into a killing rampage, we confine those into the box of criminals or mentally ill. So instead of listening to their Cry for Help, what we do, we isolate them and we put them in institutions obviously with the best intentions. As the law of attraction goes like attracts like and more and more of these people are confined together. Instead of finding a way for them to understand that their map of their world is boundary-less we tell them that they are like the others and we confirm their thoughts, by confining them with others that are like them. So all they end up seeing is people like them which reaffirm their beliefs.
Other people find illness or drugs to comfort themselves with. They express their Cry for Help by getting ill or taking drugs or falling victim to an addiction. We shove them in hospitals and give them treatment for doing that.
Some others even try to express their Cry for Help with laughter or some form of entertainment or public post. We look at them and we say “what great artists they are!” Yet if we bother to look deep into their entertainment we see that they are calling for help. It is their outward expression to show us their Cry for Help. Instead, we build monuments and give them gifts when all they are trying to tell us is “we need you to hear our Cry for Help.”
And, there are many other forms or derivation of these forms of Cry for Help.
Some people then end up in places where they didn’t want to be. Marriages break down, mid life crisis, people go homeless, teenagers get pregnant, some take narcotics, others prescribed drugs, some find illness, and some others find death to be the only “person” to hear their loud noises and listens to their Cry for Help.
Next time you see someone behaving in a manner that you or the whole society doesn’t approve, listen the silence between the words and read the lines that are written with invisible ink. Have a look around your life. If you are married “listen” to your kids’ Cry for Help. That little boy of yours might be rowdy for a reason… it may well be his Cry for Help. May be that daughter of yours who is fearful might be calling you and asking you for your help. Perhaps your wife or your teen daughter overeating is her way of talking to you or to the world. Try looking into the eyes of your co-worker or boss, may be they are so “bossy” because no one is actually hearing their Cry for Help.
Today, ask yourself this question: “Who in my life is Crying for Help?”
Just don’t be surprised if you hear the answer in your own Cry for Help.
Joseph Warda
Active Business Coach
Coach, Train, Facilitate, and Grow!
joseph.warda@activebusinesscoach.com
Active Business Coach
+61-4-1428 3098
This Original Article was first published at
Cry For Help
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